Jakarta, goldensamoyed Indonesia
—
For many people
adult
, the small faces and cute behavior of small children often give rise to feelings of excitement that are difficult to contain.Want to pinch his cheeks, stroke his hair, even kiss his cheek or head.
But in the current era, behavior that was once considered normal is now starting to be questioned: is it permissible to kiss other people’s children?
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Psychologist from Tabula Rasa, Arnold Lukito, explains that instinctively, the urge to kiss or hug babies and small children is a natural expression of affection.
“Biologically, babies and small children trigger an oxytocin response, the love hormone in adults. Our brain reads that small, soft form as a signal to care,” said Arnold when contacted
goldensamoyedIndonesia.com
, Tuesday (11/11)
However, according to Arnold, even though his intentions often arise from affection, this does not mean that this behavior is always appropriate.What differentiates affection from inappropriate behavior is the social context, as well as the child’s consent and comfort.
If done by close people who are trusted, for example family or friends in an open place with gentle gestures, a kiss can be interpreted as a form of warmth.But if it is done by a stranger, suddenly, or without permission, the child’s body and those around him can raise an ‘alarm’ of discomfort.
“And that attitude is a healthy protective mechanism,” Arnold said.
Moral evolution, from compassion to boundary consciousness
In modern society, awareness of boundaries (personal limits) is increasingly high.According to Arnold, now that we are experiencing a collective moral evolution, the understanding that love without permission can feel invasive.
Feeling uncomfortable when you see someone kissing a child who is not their child is not just an emotional reaction, but rather a form of protective social mechanism.
“In moral psychology, this is called a disgust response, a natural reaction to behavior that is considered to violate body norms,” he explained.
This reaction makes people more alert to the possibility of grooming or covert predatory behavior.
Arnold also touched on the concept of embodied ethics, namely ethics that considers the body and consent.
“Loving behavior must still respect the child’s body boundaries and comfort,” he stressed.
Arnold emphasized that kissing other people’s children is not always wrong, but must be done with full awareness.He gave several simple guidelines, namely:
• Do not kiss children who are not your own without their parents’ permission.
• Observe the child’s reaction, if he backs away, tenses, or remains stiff, stop immediately.
• Use safe, neutral expressions of affection, such as smiling, giving a high-five, or stroking the head with permission.
“True love is shown through respect for the child’s boundaries and comfort,” said Arnold.
So, what should you do when you see someone else kissing your child?
Arnold advises not to immediately react emotionally.According to him, first observe the context and the child’s reaction.
“If the child looks comfortable and the perpetrator is clear about the relationship, just monitor it. But if the child looks stiff or awkward, that could be a danger sign,” he said.
The next step is to ensure the child’s sense of security without creating stigma.You can get closer, greet the child gently, or give a subtle social signal to the perpetrator, for example by saying lightly, ‘Hey, don’t kiss him yet, I’m afraid the child won’t be comfortable yet’.
“If the situation seems unsafe and the perpetrator continues to insist, then intervention can be carried out calmly and involving the authorities,” he said.
(tis/tis)
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